As a projector, I’m sure you know the importance now of waiting for an invitation in doing what you do best — giving advice. However, if you don’t, you may want to take a quick peek at the blog post I wrote about invitations a few days ago. You can find it here.
But what isn’t talked about a lot is the thing that comes before an invitation, and it actually commonly gets misconstrued as an invitation.
I’m talking about… RECOGNITION.
Prefer to listen as you read? Or want to listen on the go? Listen to the podcast episode.
What is Recognition?
Recognition is what you get from someone who truly SEES your genius and learns from you.
It’s when someone DM’s you and says “Thank you for creating this!”
It’s when your friend says that they love having you as their friend.
It’s when your teacher says they were happy you contributed in class today.
Recognition comes in many different forms, and just like invitations, it can be direct or indirect.
However, just because someone recognizes you DOESN’T mean that’s an invitation.
Yep. As if deciphering an invitation wasn’t already hard enough, now we throw recognition into the mix.
But fear not, because I DO have a surefire way to help you decipher between the two going forward.
So let’s say that as a young projector, you’ve been told over and over again that the people around you don’t want your opinion.
I know, it sounds harsh, but a lot of projectors actually go through this.
Let’s say you are used to either getting backlash for trying to help others with your advice, or people try to ignore you now because they know you’ll try to tell them a better way to do something.
After years of this when we’re younger, we learn a few things that AREN’T true but FEEL true:
- When I give my opinion, I actually hurt others.
- If I reach out to anyone, they’re going to ignore me.
- I’m going to get rejected if I say what I truly feel.
Now, yes there are other things that we learn that deal deeper with our self-worth, but that’s a topic for another time.
The point is that we get so used to being shut down that we inadvertently have this complex in our minds that we need others approval before doing something — anything.
Enter, the Projector Paradox.
The Projector Paradox
The Projector Paradox is a term I made up, so you won’t find others using it. But let me explain why this is such a paradox.
Imagine being so observant to what others are doing that you could help them by telling them a better way to save time and energy.
Except, you can’t tell them because they haven’t recognized you — meaning that they won’t actually hear anything you say until they’ve recognized you.
But you still see it.
And they’re still wasting their time and energy.
What do you do??
Hence, the Projector Paradox. Which I guess could also be called the Invitation Paradox or the Recognition Paradox, depending on your preference.
The even crazier part here is that even if you WERE recognized by them, that doesn’t mean they’re open to your advice still.
Which just adds another layer onto the entire paradox!
I don’t know about you, but my head is spinning.
So let’s get out of the damn paradox, and find what we can do and what recognition is all about.
Recognition is your confirmation.
Treat recognition as your confirmation from the universe, (higher power, God, whatever you want to call it), that you’re heading in the right direction and that you’re on you life purpose path.
Recognition is someone else telling you they value you.
They value what you do, how you’ve helped them, and what you bring.
Recognition happens both before AND after an invitation.
We tend to speak about invitations and recognition like it’s a one time thing. But it’s not. We’re in a constant cycle of it.
Recognition happens, then an invitation, then recognition again, then another invitation, and so on.
Someone can recognize you for different topics you are knowledgeable about.
They can recognize you for different levels they didn’t realize you knew about those topics.
Heck they can even just recognize you for being you. I was once recognized for breathing air.
And NOT in a condescending or patronizing way.
Like she ACTUALLY thanked me for breathing air because she wanted to let me know that she appreciated me being a part of the ecosystem that feeds the planet and — through the food chain — her as well.
So, as you can see, recognition is NOT an invitation to give advice, but rather a gratefulness for YOU as a person, doing what you do.
What do we do with this?
As I’ve said, recognition comes both before and after an invitation. And there’s a way around recognition so that you can just continually receive invitations without needing formal recognition.
RECOGNIZE YOURSELF FIRST.
Recognize yourself, your value, your genius, and your worth first.
When YOU recognize yourself, you’re CONFIDENT in what you say, what you do, and, ultimately, you’re confident in WHO YOU ARE.
Your energy is your greatest billboard. It speaks for you.
When you’re confident, you show it.
When you’re confident, you speak up.
When you’re confident, you allow yourself to shine.
And how do you become confident?
You RECOGNIZE YOURSELF.
The Projector Paradox 2.0
Another layer that I hadn’t told you yet was that you actually DON’T NEED others recognition.
You need YOUR OWN recognition.
And when you recognize yourself, you actually start to put yourself out there and you allow others to find you.
When you allow others to find you, you add value and bring impact to people’s lives.
When you add value and impact to people’s lives they want to invite you because they can tell that YOU’RE ready for the invitation.
Recognition is merely a step for you to show up and stand up to say “I’m ready for invitations.”
And once you really absorb and feel this to be true, you’ll start to see the shift.
Because all you ever needed was to recognize yourself first.
So what are YOU ready to be recognized for?
Recognize yourself first, and see what changes YOU make that then allows others to experience the you that is ready to be invited.